Ranting, Uncategorized

Three Things That Really Annoy Me

1) Being interrupted by people who talk across me as if I’m not even speaking. Yeah, that basically makes me want to gently scoop the offenders eyes out, staple their stretched out optic nerves to a table, then kick them in the head until something snaps.

2) People who take their young children to movies, then don’t control them. Here’s a tip; movies are an immersive experience. I don’t pay to sit in a theatre and listen to your bored child whine about his popcorn, watch him play with his light-up toy, or have him spray me with his highly-caffeinated soft-drink. Movies are a treat for me and my lady, and we’d enjoy ourselves far more if we didn’t have to worry about me seizing your rugrat and shaking him like a British nanny. And telling me “lighten up, he’s just a kid” is about the quickest way to ensure that your kid is going to grow up in grandma’s house.

3) People who say “I don’t read.” You don’t read? Reading and writing are the only things that has ensured humanity has come as far as it has. Writing allows us to preserve art, thought and wisdom through the ages. Writing is the key achievement of any civilisation, the thing that allows us to accomplish everything else. Try building a computer or eliminating smallpox without reading. Announcing that you don’t read is basically saying “I’m an ungrateful stain who’s opted out of the achievements of the species and is ready to stride back into the Stone Age as soon as my coddling infrastructure goes away.”

As far as I’m concerned, if you don’t read you’re not human, you’re just a deformed monkey with shoes. You’re taking up valuable space on an over-crowded planet, and should be cut up and used for spare parts.

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